TwitterStarters™

I've come up with a genius business idea likely to make me no money whatsoever.

Twittering is a challenge for most people, I find. Either their updates are inanely self-indulgent ("Love, love, love a good Starbucks latte! Yum!") or achingly dull ("Off to another meeting. Geez."). You, too, can generate topical, arresting and whimsical posts using the TwitterStarters™ options below.

• The last time I drank like that / took down a dozen tamales / battered my cat…

• Just when I thought it was safe to go into a gay bar / over a chain link fence / on and on about myself…

• When it comes to George Bush’s Nobel prospects / toddler beauty pageants / getting rid of blood evidence…

• Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the closet / admit you’re a fan of those Jonas boys / try on a leather thong...

• The last time I saw something that show-tuney / teeming with rodents / French...

• Nothing makes me grateful for the accordian / bloated / wish I’d been born smarter like a...

• I like fellas / Lutheran bingo / wearing someone else’s ear buds just as much as the next guy, but...

• The economy / feel of that against my skin / likelihood of me not vomiting in the next 5 minutes is so bad...

No copyright infringement fears necessary - post away!