"OMG, I just had some really good Starbucks!!"

Go to the search box on Google and type "Twitter is..." and Google helps finish the sentence with the most popular search terms. They are, in order and as of Friday afternoon:

...down
...overcapacity
...retarded
...pointless
...lame
...a waste of time
...for old people
...dead
...frozen
...hiring

(Type in "Twitter should be..." and you'll get the suggestion "banned.")

For the last year and a half we've been talking to clients about the importance of Twitter. We've also been telling a few of them that it's, well...pointless, lame and a waste of time. Clients are pretty certain that they should be taking advantage of Twitter, but when we ask why they often answer, "Because everyone else is." If everyone else jumped off a bridge...

Here, in a nutshell, is how I counsel clients who are considering investing time to be part of the "Twitterverse."

Twitter is great for:

Clients who sell "passion products." If your business involves selling something related to a person's hobby, vocation or avocation (and that hobby, vocation or avocation is a big part of "who they are"), like scrapbooking, vintage cars, firefighting, teaching, gluten-free living, wine, photography, Twitter is a good way to let them get to know what your brand could mean for them.

Celebrities. People who love Oprah, Ashton Kutcher, Mariah Carey and those Jonas boys hang on their every inane word, and Twitter gets it out there far better than an occasional feature in People magazine.

News. Breaking news shot directly to followers is probably the best use of the Twitter platform, though you could just as easily get the same information in an RSS feed.

Your kids' school or anyplace you go regularly that might close in a snowstorm. Of course, you could get that same school-closing information via instant text message updates to your phone.

Narcissists. People who love to hear themselves talk (about themselves) can now delight all of us with their every thought...about coffee, how clever their kids are, their struggles balancing work and family, coffee, traffic, what's for dinner, coffee...

On the other hand, Twitter is a waste of time for:

Everyone else. Well, more specifically, it's generally not advisable for businesses that sell things people only want to hear about when they need 'em: flooring, legal services, auto repair, florists, etc. For these clients we suggest a blog – it's a great way to tell your story when people do search for your type of product or service and find your website.

In the end, even if you fit the profile of a Twitter-worthy business, will Twitter help you grow it? It depends on how well and for what purpose you're doing it. Exposure is always good, but how hard we have to work to get that exposure may prove, for some, to be out of line with what they're getting for all the effort.